Discussion Sundays: Insta Love in YA

Hey lovelies, Happy Valentine’s Day! I have an exciting announcement for today ❤

I have finally decided to start a weekly meme that will be going on my blog! Every Sunday, I am planning to post a discussion on a controversial or thought provoking book topic for all of us to leave our opinions on. Hopefully, “Discussion Sundays”, (what they will most likely be called XD) will help me get to know all of you better and for us bibliophiles to be honest with each other, without judging or comparing ourselves to anyone else. The only things I will ask for everyone to do is to a) be true to yourself, even if your answers/reasons aren’t the same as mine/anybody else’s I would LOVE to hear it! b) be respectful to each other and don’t negatively criticize people’s comments/opinions. And that’s it! If you have any suggestions or topic ideas that you want me to talk about, please leave them in the comments below, and I will give it a serious consideration 😀 Sorry for the long intro, and let’s get started!


Today’s Topic: Insta Love in YA/NA/Adult Fiction

First off, what is insta love?

Insta love: When one/two people who just met automatically think that they are each other’s soul mate and can’t live without each other.


My Thoughts: 

Well, I honestly have to say that I usually HATE insta love. I just find it unrealistic and unrelatable to fall heads over heels for someone you just met. Sure, there can be physical attraction, and there almost is in YA fiction. However, thinking someone is attractive or wanting to go talk to them is a completely different story than believing that you cannot live for a moment longer without them. (I mean you just did, like 5 minutes ago!)

As a reader, I just cannot believe that it would actually happen in real life, and I don’t want to cheer on the couple when I basically just met one of them a few pages ago. Furthermore, the depth of their romance is so much more shallow compared to slow burning romance. With insta love, you miss out on getting to know the characters’ strengths and weaknesses, what makes them furious and elated, and what their family/past life was like. If you basically don’t know anything about them, why in the world would you bother to read a whole book based on their lives?

Slow burning romances on the other hand, makes you crave for the characters to finally realize their love for one another and to just get the heck together! As you read the book, you are anxiously waiting for them to confess their feelings, and groaning when someone does something to mess it up. Basically, you are feeling as if you are the character themselves, and that it is you who is in a potential romantic relationship with a fictional character.

I personally have never read a book where an insta love worked for me. They are usually rushed and chopped, forcing me to not connect or like any of the characters. Some of the worst cases I have read would be Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, Matched by Ally Condie, and Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare. Especially Romeo and Juliet! Sure, it’s by the famous Shakespeare, but two kids aged 14 and 19 who commit suicide to be with each other even in death after spending only one day together? That probably will always top my most unrealistic fictional romances ever.

Anyways, I could probably talk about Shakespeare’s unrealistic romances for hours so let’s not even go there. The only situation that I think an insta love might work is if is during a heightened situation. Usually this happens only in a dystopian or science fiction setting filled to the brim with non stop action and inevitable death. As your adrenaline levels skyrocket, you can also probably be more easily attracted to someone. Another possible scenario might be if you were shunned or bullied when you were little and had never felt love from another human being. You are more than likely going to feel automatic trust and interest in the only person who has ever cared about you. One example I can think of for the latter scenario is Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi, where Juliette has been hurt by everyone in her life because of her fatal powers. However, I don’t neccessarily think that it was a great romance between Juliette and Adam because they were too busy randomly kissing each other when they were running away from guns and potential death. (One of the most cringe worthy scenes in YA! I literally roll my eyes every time…)

All in all, I have to say that I definitely prefer a slow burning romance to an insta love. The characters are usually more developed and complex, and it is much easier for the reader to want them to be together. Romance definitely almost always plays a part in any novel, and I would really like to see more books featuring swoon worthy romances that are truly believable and realistic.

Thought provoking questions:

  1. What do you generally think about insta love in books?
  2. When is it okay/not okay? (Examples would be great!)
  3. Does it really affect your ability to connect or like the characters?
  4. Do you automatically DNF or dislike a book if you think it has insta love?
  5. What is the difference between insta love and physical attraction?
  6. What kind of romance do you like to see in books? (Slow burning, friends turned into something more, enemies into lovers, etc)


And I think that is it for today’s Discussion Sunday! I’m so sorry if it seemed a little too ranty/awkward but I hope that will go away as I continue to make more posts. I actually have a whole list waiting for me, so I can’t wait to see how this goes 😀

What do you think about Insta Love in books? I would love any opinions or thoughts on this topic! Let’s discuss in the comments below 🙂

Thanks for reading loves xoxo,


Find me here!



10 thoughts on “Discussion Sundays: Insta Love in YA

  1. MyNovelThoughtsBlog says:

    I really love this post and totally agree with you!
    1. I don’t like when there is Instalove in books. I don’t mind if there is instant attraction and the main protagonist recognises that it’s just that – attraction. But when two characters just meet and then start spewing lyrical about how perfect that person is and reading into their actions too much from the start, I just think that’s fake!

    2. I think it would be kind of cool if a book started off with InstaLove, but it turns out that the point of the story is that there is no such thing as Instalove, and the main character is just infatuated, and they begin to realise that as the story unravels!! But for the most part I just don’t think it works!

    3. I don’t think so. It annoys me a little but if the book continues to set out interesting and fully developed character profiles, I’ll still like the book!

    4. Hmmmm, I certainly wouldn’t just stop reading a book if it has InstaLove, or decide before I get into it at all that I dislike it! I would still give it a chance but I might be a little wary!

    5. I kind of touched on this earlier, I’m not sure there IS a difference between InstaLove and physical attraction, the character just doesn’t know it! I guess it’s the idea of love at first sight, that somehow you just know more about this person and have this connection even though you don’t know them? Again, I think that’s a little ridiculous though!

    6. YES!!! Give me slow burning!!! That’s the best!!❤️😍☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    • lostwithinwordsx says:

      Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions!! I totally agree with you that Insta Love doesn’t necessarily make me stop reading the book but it does make me less excited to continue 😛 I love your answer for question number 2! I would love a story that revolves around there being Instalove at first, then disappearing as the story goes on 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Cherry says:

    1. I don’t like instalove but I can tolerate it if the book is good otherwise xD
    2. I don’t think it’s okay ever unless it serves a purpose. But I think it is nice to have a variety of romances, if all the books I read were slow burning romances, I would probably go crazy from the waiting haha.
    3. If the main protagonist is female and she starts non-stop gushing about a guy she just met 5 minutes ago, I’m going to wish I could strangle her lol. This is why I don’t read a whole lot of contemporary or books with insta love in general. The “love” just feels really fake to me, but sometimes it does work. I just thought of an example lol, Significance by Shelly Crane – major insta love, idk why but it worked for me. I actually found it funny and endearing.
    4. Not necessarily. If the book has more going for it than insta love, I’ll keep reading but if it does become unbearable then yeah I’ll probably give up on it xD it just depends
    5. Instalove is all encompassing, literally love at first sight whereas in physical attraction you don’t even need to know the person’s name to want them. Both are shallow but at least with physical attraction an actual, believable relationship can follow after. With instalove, it’s implied.
    6. Slow burning romances, friends to lovers and enemies into lovers! Basically anything that isn’t insta love haha.

    This is a great discussion post Jenna!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lostwithinwordsx says:

      Thank you so much for taking the time to answer Cherry 🙂 It really means a lot to me! I totally agree with you on the fact that sometimes waiting for fictional characters to get together takes a lot of patience and is time consuming XD I had lots of books when I was literally screaming at them to finally confess their feelings haha My favourite romances would definitely have to be anything that isn’t Insta love as well ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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